At a loss

Sitting here wondering, as I find myself doing lately. Do you ever wonder about your failures in life and where you went wrong? If you could change it all, would you? Or are you one of those people who accepts your decisions, good and bad, and only looks forward?

This new chapter in my life is not one I’m willingly starting. It’s not my doing. I’m sure it is in a round about way but I definitely didn’t ask for this. I’m watching everything I’ve ever worked for be stripped away with a signature forcibly written on a document I’ll never look at again. The house I personally found and put hundreds of hours into. The cars I maintained and poured so much energy into. And most of all, my kids who I’ve been fired from being their dad. Sure, I get it. I’ll always be their dad but now it’s from a distance. Something I feel like I have to beg to be part of.

And so I wonder. Constantly. What does the future look like?

2 thoughts on “At a loss”

  1. I was in somewhat of the same situation 9 years ago. The wife kicked me out of the house and divorced me after 20 years of marriage, I lost everything and my son hated me. There are a few things you need to know:
    1. You matter
    2. It gets a lot better from here
    3. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me
    4. It’s not a failure until you quit
    5. It’s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them
    6. Recovery takes a long time

    Use this time to live alone and learn to be single. Learn to make yourself happy, then you can eventually share your happiness with someone else. It gets a lot better.

    Like

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