I hate my calendar

It means I have things to do. Even if they are things I want to do. Events on the calendar bring anxiety because of expectations. Or even just the idea that something is expected of me.

I sat here pre-planning the next few months. Finding campsites seems like a full-time job these days. When I was done, my calendar just floored me. All of the thoughts and feelings I don’t want to be having. I’m on my own and this is my future. Not sure why I’m sharing this but it wasn’t the day I wanted. None of these days are. Even if it’s a good day on the calendar. Each day, each event is a step farther from what I always wanted.

I guess the good news is that tomorrow morning I am flying to Sacramento to pick up my new motorcycle. Seems like something I should be looking forward to. It is, and isn’t. I would give it all up in an instant to go back to the status quo. A status quo that no longer exists or wants me.

One thought on “I hate my calendar”

  1. Jake,
    You always have a place in my home if needed. Always here for you whether you need to rant, let off steam, a shoulder or just someone to hang out with in silence. You need me and I will be there! Monkey has my number if you lost it.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: