PTSD and a Motorcycle

The rain I was so worried about last night never materialized. I never sleep comfortably in the tent but my sleeping pill did a decent enough job last night that I don’t remember much. That’s a good thing.

After packing up and getting a quick bite to eat, I headed over to the Yorktown battlefield. I was early so I killed a bit of time examining the cannons nearby. It’s always mildly depressing to learn that what is on display is a reproduction because the original was destroyed. Rereading that, I should clarify. The cannons are real. The earthworks of the battlefield are not. I took a guided tour and then took a driving tour by myself on the bike.

I should mention a struggle I had today. I hate hands off parents and their horribly behaved children. A single guy was there with his two kids. Maybe 7 and 5. They would not shut up. From the movie at the beginning, through the ranger walk, these kids were loud. They were obnoxious. The young boy was on a leash. Literally. It didn’t matter, he did what he wanted and if he pulled the leash tight, he’d just lean into it and jump and yell until his dad relented and followed him. The older daughter was so loud and constantly talking and interrupting the ranger that all of the other patrons were visibly annoyed.

I can’t stand chaos around me. Yes, it’s a major trigger. I get very angry, very quickly. That reaction to chaos is why I have to separate myself from my own kids regularly. I have a level of control over that though and my kids understand when they’ve set me off. We can talk about it.

When it’s someone else’s kids my only recourse is to leave. And I wasn’t leaving. I really wanted to say something. In the past I would have. I’m not shy about it. I don’t really want to count it as a personal victory as it took everything I had to not say anything. The only thing that calmed me down was to get back on the bike and ride the tour. It took awhile.

Something as simple as bad kids and a bad parent can be the end of my day. I don’t want that to be what I remember about Yorktown. Perhaps now that I’ve dumped that feeling out in the open, I can move on.

After lunch at Yorktown Pub, over looking the Chesapeake, I rode a mile to the Revolutionary War Museum. As with the WW2 museum in New Orleans, there wasn’t much there that I hadn’t heard or read before. What I really enjoyed was going outside to the living history exhibit. There, I had a long conversation with a gentleman who was portraying a Patriot Soldier. He was prior service Navy and retired the same rank I did. We spent a lot of time comparing similarities between what Revolutionary Soldiers did and the way they lived to modern Soldiers. They had an engineering device called a Gabion which is essentially a bottomless basket woven from sticks and branches. It is meant to shore up earthworks when filled with dirt. It is exactly the same concept as the thousands of Hesco bastions I installed during my first tour in Iraq. Ours were just made out of wire and a kevlar type cloth. 250 years and infinitely better technology and we are still not that far removed.

I hoped back on the bike and put in 180 miles to get to Manassas and my cousins home.

A guy in a car nearly killed me today. He threw on his signal (actually impressed by that) and immediately changed lanes into me. He never looked, he didn’t ease over. He just did it. And forced me right off the road, into a grassy median at 65mph. It was everything I could do to get it back on the road. I may have been a little amped up after that. Besides wanting to drag the guy out of his car and violently end his life, I surprised myself with the thought that I wish I could just pull over and talk with him. Explain to him what he did, what almost happened. What I was doing and who I was. That I mattered and that there were people at home who wanted me to return (I think.) That, by his inattentiveness, he could have ruined it all.

I thought about that for about 30 miles and it served to calm me down. Not sure how or why yet.

Tonight is the first at my cousins house. She has a beautiful, perfect family and her husband is one of the most fun guys to be around. Her boys and I have already bonded over snakes and bugs and horrible camping stories. I think I’m in good hands.

My campsite last night was 20 feet from civil war earthworks. I had no idea until this morning.

Two of the many cannon. Artillery is the Princess of battle right?

A Gabion on display in the museum.

General Washington’s position overlooking the battlefield.

The field and road (behind the low fenceline) where the British surrender took place.

Though the battle of Yorktown took place two years before the official end of the war, it was the last major battle on American soil and signaled the end for the British occupation.

.

And put on your high waders, it’s about to begin.

The rain has started. It was beautiful with perfectly blue skies all day, at least until about 1/2 an hour ago. I’ve stayed in hotels the last 3 nights to save myself from the rain and I was hoping it was over. Hence the reason I’m camping tonight. I just couldn’t afford a hotel again and so I guess I’m biting the bullet. My fingers are crossed that it’ll be just a light, quickly passing storm. The thunder I’m currently hearing says otherwise. Even better? As I was setting up the tent, I discovered that the tiny, flimsy “windows” in the rain fly of my tent have failed and now have big holes in them. Not sure how to fix that one.

I’m currently camped at Newport News State Park, just south of Yorktown and nearby to…Newport News. As I was paying the guy said it was “just $33”. I told him that’s $13 more expensive than any other campground I’ve been to. He tried to argue with me and then I told him what I’ve been doing for the past 31 days and my recent camping experience. He finally mumbled something about it being cheap for around here. I let him have that one.

The campground itself is really pretty and obviously for a Sunday night, it’s also pretty deserted.

I’m telling you. I am SO tired of humidity. I have been soaked all day. It doesn’t matter what you are doing or your exertion level. Just putting up my tent I soaked through my clothes. Not that I hadn’t already done that several times today.

I did my basic training at Ft. Benning Georgia and I’ve trained for about 4ish months at Camp Shelby Mississippi. I even did 3 months at Ft. Lee Virginia. The South is not new to me. I don’t remember the humidity being this bad.

I got my shower in and now I’m laying here listening to the rain on the roof, which in itself is rather peaceful, if you don’t think about tomorrow morning.

Anyway. I feel like I’m complaining. It really has been a great day.

I woke up early, after staying up past midnight talking with Patrick and Kevin. They are both fascinating people and I really enjoyed picking their brains all day. They were probably glad to see me off. Patrick is a Submarine Captain and Kevin is an “ice pilot” or someone who teaches sub crews how to operate under the polar ice cap. How cool is that? Very.

We got about 160 or so miles in before we made it to Jamestowne, the first English Settlement in the Ameicas in 1607. It’s also where we first learn of Pocahontas in history. I learned several things about her that I had no idea of.

We then went over to Williamsburg for lunch. I’m loving these historical East Coast towns. The buildings, the streets and the ambiance.

After lunch I said goodbye but not before they both offered to let me stay at their places. Such nice guys, I just wasn’t heading that far South although no in retrospect…hmm.

Today is my dad’s 64th birthday. Happy birthday! I’d been chatting with him on the phone and I told him where I was going. He told me I couldn’t miss walking around Colonial Williamsburg and that I definitely needed to hear “Thomas Jefferson” speak.

So I did. I’m glad my dad had told me because I got there with 10 minutes to go before the last speach and so I had to really move. And queue the humidity sweat overload.

The guy who portrayed Jefferson did an excellent job and did an interactive recitation with the crowd for about an hour. Much of the talk was about his life but he really delved into the issue of slavery in his time. It was a unique approach and in the end I think we all had a better idea of the political issue it was at that point in our history. It was easily the highlight of my day and if you ever get the chance, go see him.

I was supposed to make it to my cousins house last night, and then tonight, now it’ll be tomorrow sometime. I am just not making it very far with all of the history in the area that I feel like I just can’t miss.

I’m going to have to make a choice. History or on with the trip?

I still want to see Gettysburg and I’m planning on a few sites around Philly. I’ve done D.C. before although it’s been decades. I think I’ll do Arlington and that’s it. I’ve got to move on. I could be here forever.

Maybe someday I’ll get far enough away from the South that I’ll rediscover what dry skin and clothing feels like.

Today was a nice day to spend with friends.

Posting this on Sunday morning, the 24th.

I stayed at a hotel again last night due to constant threat of rain. I’m really hoping that the rain will pass.

The best part about last night though was that I met up with Patrick and Kevin. They are from Virginia and were out riding the Blue Ridge Parkway. I know Patrick from a couple of years ago. He and his wife were my first clients when I began guiding with Utah Mountain Biking Adventures. We’ve stayed in touch and it was so fortuitous that we were able to meet here. I am going to ride with them today for awhile.

Yesterday was an easy day. I only rode about 168 miles but I stopped at so many places.

It was an accident that I was in Lexington on Saturday. I hadn’t originally planned to be there for any reason but the rain on Friday night made me stop sooner than expected. Lucky me though. As I was researching Lexington I discovered that there were so many things there worth seeing. First I went to the Virginia Military Institute and toured their grounds and museum. Then I went downtown and took a guided tour of Stonewall Jackson’s home. I then rode over to the cemetery where he is buried.

I also learned that Robert E. Lee is buried nearby at the college he was a superintendent of during the last years of his life.

I grabbed a bite to eat in Lexington before I finally got underway for the day. I took some back roads over to Appomattox Court House. It was very interesting walking around the old town. I learned that the surrender didn’t take place at the actual court house, but at the McLean house nearby. The whole town was essentially called Appomattox Court House.

The actual court house.

The McLean house.

I took off and went to Monticello. I have always been fascinated with Thomas Jefferson and so this was kind of my Graceland. It was not what I was expecting and I could have easily spent days here. I took the house tour and walked the grounds.

Just amazing. The ride to the hotel took me through Charlottesville which looked like a really neat town. If I didn’t need to meet up with Patrick and Kevin, I would have stayed a bit longer.

Sorry for the delay in getting this report out there but it was really nice to have people to talk with last night.

My phone is dying. It (and I) got absolutely soaked today several times while riding through West Virginia.

The phone is water proof but it won’t charge when it detects moisture and I’m sure it’s detecting A LOT of moisture. So basically I can’t charge it.

West Virginia was amazing. Check out route 311 if you’re ever near Roanoke and need to get over to White Sulpher Springs.

I hid out at a local Harley dealer, along with about 100 other riders. There’s a Fire and Iron Motorcycle club national meeting in the area.

I was soaked completely through. It snuck up on me and I didn’t have time to suit up.

It rained again later but this time I was prepared.

Now I’m in a hotel again for the night. Rain is expensive.

A common issue with combat vets is that we are all adrenaline junkies.

Imagine yourself on a patrol or a convoy, or even just pulling a watch detail overlooking the wire. For your entire mission you are on edge. You expect, and plan for, something to happen at any moment. You role play in your head, what would you do if x,y, or z happened? You have to have a plan. For 12 hours or even multiple days, you don’t get to relax at all. This is a major reason as to why most combat vets drink, smoke or other drugs just to relax. They need something artificial.

Also, we do stupid stuff. We buy fast cars, motorcycles, go mountain biking, rock climbing or continue playing with guns. We need the adrenaline rush because we are so used to being so amped up that we don’t know how to feel without it.

And when we come down, we come hard. We get PTSD, we get divorces, we leave our families, we commit suicide.

There are a thousand programs out there to help combat vets with all of these issues. Thousands, because no veteran is like any other veteran and what may work for one, may trigger another.

For the last few days, I’ve been on an adrenaline high. Winding roads, high speeds and mountain passes all add up to a high heart rate. I’ve been euphoric and the more I think about it, the more I think it was an artificial high.

Here’s where I crashed (not literally). Today I rode on the Blue Ridge Parkway. It’s an idyllic, beautiful, meandering road. The speed is never higher than 45mph. Add to that gray, overcast skies and drizzling rain and you have a formula for a depressed state of mind. I had a lot of time to think and to lose focus, all at the same time. Nothing I was doing required my full attention. I realized I was in a slump and so I called my wife just to chat. Worst cell phone coverage ever. The whole way. We’d get talking and then the call would drop. I’d go hours between attempts to call her back and the same thing would happen. I was all alone.

Today I am struggling. I got a hotel room for the night because I’m tired of getting rained on and I just can’t handle what’s in the forecast. I need to start tomorrow not feeling miserable. I can’t do much more of the BRP. It’s making me blue. I need a break.

To add insult to injury, the washing machine at the hotel is broken. I have a big pile of humidity induced nasty laundry and so now I’m sitting in a random laundromat on a hard chair, writing about my miserable day.

That doesn’t seem fair now that I write it. Was it really miserable? No. It was a nice road. Maybe if I was with someone else. Maybe if there were blue skies. Maybe if I just could have talked with Megan more.

It sure made me realize how fickle my head is. How one minute I can be on cloud nine and the next, I’m wishing this trip were over.

I’m not ready to quit.

I’ll sleep in a bed tonight in my cheap hotel, put on some clean clothes in the morning and I’ll head deep into West Virginia towards the banjo music.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better.

I’m four weeks in! I keep telling people that I’m on a two month trip around the US. I may have to reconsider that timeframe. Not making it shorter or not completing the trip, but actually taking longer. I have to keep in mind that I’ve had quite a few off the bike days so far and that’s added to my time. I don’t have many more family stops after this. Maybe 4 days total in Virginia and then it’s a long stretch to Seattle.

I’m still enjoying it and I’m definitely getting the hang of it all. My back is sore and I don’t sleep especially well but I can handle that. I think.

Today I left Tennessee and took some beautiful, obscure backroads into Ashville North Carolina. Picked up a chip and then began the Blue Ridge Parkway right at the starting point.

It’s overcast and sometimes raining. A good mist at all times. Just enough to require the rain jacket and helmet visor. I even threw on my chaps which I haven’t worn since day two in Texas. I needed the warmth on my legs, it’s 62 degrees out. The fog is so thick at times that the limited traffic is crawling along. I’ve seen quite a few motorcycles today so I’m in good company and must be doing something right.

It’s hard to convince myself to pull over and take a picture of the vistas. The cloud cover makes most of them not really worth it.

I had a gas station breakfast this morning, meaning snacks and crap not worth eating. I stopped for lunch at a roadside resort town called Little Switzerland. This is the view from my table, no joke.

And my lunch…roast beef sandwich. Mmm.

I’ll let you know how the rest of the parkway works out later.

I really didn’t know what to expect from today. I’d done the big ride yesterday and I knew I wasn’t going to make it back to the Blue Ridge Parkway today, it was just too far. I’d mapped out today with a jaunt into Kentucky mostly just to say I’d gone there and to grab a poker chip. I know, again with the poker chips but they are such an easy souvenir.

It all started as I thought it would. Back country highways with a top speed of 55mph. Nothing too spectacular but beautiful nonetheless. I made it just outside of London Kentucky when I finally decided to take some random backroads. I started passing through really picturesque farmland. I even stopped to take a picture of one.

In London I got my poker chip and they pointed me to a good place for lunch. It was while sitting at the counter where all of the locals sitting nearby tried to talk me out of going to Hazard.

So the verdict? I didn’t go. And I’m glad I didn’t for two reasons. First, as was kindly pointed out, it is not the correct Hazard so who really cares. Second, the roads I ended up on were epic. I mean absolutely epic.

I am baffled that these roads aren’t more well known. Honestly they may be and I haven’t heard of them but I was the ONLY motorcycle on them all day. I never saw anyone else. As a matter of fact, even cars don’t use them much. I had them all to myself. Even better? The speed limit is ridiculous. It’s posted at 55mph. There is no way you can do 55. The few cars I saw were doing about 40 to 45 and I could pass them easily. I was able to hold the speed limit most of the time but there were plenty of corners where I was down low in 2nd gear. SO. GOOD.

So for those of you interested, pull out a map of Kentucky. Find Hyden in the S.E. corner on route 421. We’re heading south. The road from there is the busiest but not bad. It’s in a narrow canyon with a creek to one side of the road. The creek is maybe 20 feet wide and 1 to 2 feet deep. It runs over rocks and is very clear, except when it pools, then it’s an amazing emerald blue. Next to the creek is room for a house with a small bit of land and then the road. That’s it. Green trees of a hundred varieties overhang the road as well as rocky outcroppings. I even passed an active coal mining area. Tight fit. Going 55 through here was crazy!

One thing I’ve noticed about the South is the inordinate amount of abandoned homes and buildings. Mostly it’s sad little mobile homes or hundred year old barns. But today next to the creek I came across this place and just had to stop for a picture.

I followed 421 until I reached Pennington Gap. I’ve learned that back in the mid 1700’s, getting through the Appalachians was difficult and wherever the pioneers found a way through, they named it … Gap. I digress.

Not sure why but as I was riding through Pennington Gap, I saw a self serve car wash. I whipped around and gave Ox a much needed scrub down. Funny enough, a guy was there doing maintenance. He came over to talk and he mentioned that he is usually a local cop. I asked about the high speed limits in the area and he just shrugged. He asked where I was going next and when I told him, he just grinned and told me to hold on tight.

On to Jonesville and the beginning of 70. HOLY *%#&!

Can you see this?

This was actually taken a bit further down the road but it’s a good representation of what I rode, the whole time.

With views like this

And this

And past farmers fields like this

All to myself.

How do people not know about this road? If you are a motorcyclist, put this road on your bucket list, right now. I am actually not done with it yet. I’m camping near Greeneville and I will follow it up and over the mountain to Asheville NC tomorrow morning. I am so giddy about it I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.

70 took me into Rogersville. And I got lost. Not really but for at least the fifth time this trip, my nav has tried to take me the wrong way down one way streets. The cool thing about that is I saw a little historical sign and I stopped to read it. It said I was right by an old cemetery where the founder of the city and Davy Crockett’s grandparents were buried. My parents and wife can tell you that I’m a sucker for old cemeteries so I decided to stop and check it out.

As I left, I realized that I have been where Davy Crockett died and where he was born (close enough, it’s maybe 10 miles away), all on this trip so far. I think I stalking him a couple of centuries too late.

I got myself a nice little campsite, an actual shower and I’m hoping for no rain tonight. I also have internet obviously so things could be worse.

Looking forward to the unknown of tomorrow.

I’m debating going to Hazard Kentucky.

Pro: The Dukes of Hazard!

Con: ALL of the local say there is absolutely nothing there.

Is it worth it just to say I’ve been there?

I already wrote quite a bit about my day yesterday so I don’t have too much more to follow up on.

I do want to mention that yesterday seemed like a singular day for me to meet people.

I’m not sure what it was. Maybe I was looking forward to the day and so I had a happier, more approachable face. That seems funny now that I write it but it’s true.

While driving past Fontana lake I stopped to take pictures and talked with a couple there from Florida.

As I was wandering around the shops at the beginning of the dragon, I talked with a couple of guys, also from Florida. I was then stopped by a woman who thanked me for my service (I get that a lot while wearing my CVMA vest). We chatted for a bit. Her son is a Seabee in the Navy.

After two laps of the dragon I stopped for lunch in a little place in Robbinsville. There were quite a few empty seats but a nice couple asked me to sit at their table and talk with them. After the food was brought out, the owner of the place sat down near by and we all had a good long talk. The owners husband is also a Seabee. What are the odds? Anyway, that was enjoyable and it was hard to pull myself away to get back on the road.

Later that evening at dinner, I was sitting in a crowded patio area with loud music. I had just finished when a couple about my age sat down behind me. They saw my vest and introduced themselves as Army Reservists. It was good talking with them. He is possibly going to medically retire soon and so we discussed the joke that is the Army bureaucracy. I gave them some bad pointers on some things to look out for (I wish I was more of an expert but my memory sucks). I wished them luck and headed out again.

All of these conversations really made me feel like more of a human being for the day. Like I was actually interacting with the world.

I’ll have to work on keeping that up.

I finally found a camping spot in a National Park near Cosby Tennessee at around 7:20pm. I’d stopped at three other places. Two were full and one wanted $45 for the night. I reiterated that I was on a motorcycle and using a tent. She confirmed the price. I asked her how they could charge that much and say it with a straight face. She wasn’t amused. Neither was I. I was just glad to finally get my tent up. No showers though so I reverted back to my first combat tour in Iraq and took a baby wipe “bath”. I’d like to think it works.

As I was laying there in my tent, I heard a few raindrops hit the roof. So I hopped up and went to put the rain cover on my clothing bag and to bring in a few items. Just as I was zipping up the rain fly a torrential downpour ensued. I’m talking thunder, lightning and enough rain to make Noah shake his head. It was insane and it lasted over an hour. Any longer and I would have floated away. A few things were wet this morning but not too bad.

I’m writing this while sitting in the Cumberland gap National Park visitors center in Kentucky. A bit of interesting history.

Off to get some miles in. A small loop in Kentucky and then I’ll head east again to link up to the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Damn.

I wasn’t expecting it to be that good.

I’d heard it was overhyped. Whoever said that was dead wrong. Absolutely the best ride I’ve ever been on.

I started in Robbinsville NC and went North around Fontana Lake which is not the typical way that most riders go. It came recommended and so I gave it a shot. So glad I did. It was so beautiful and a great warm up.

Then I stopped at the massive cluster of motorcycles waiting to go on the Dragon. It was fun to hobknob with other riders. I was officially the rider from the farthest distance.

I rode the dragon from east to west and then whipped around and did it back the other way. I may have scrapped my floorboards just a little.

I then rode back the other way to Robbinsville, just to try it. The first way is better.

I’m now grabbing lunch and gas then I’ll go back to ride the dragon one more time to get to Marysville.

It’s been a great day so far.

Looking down on Fontana lake. It takes all of your willpower to pull over and get off the roller coaster. When you do though you are rewarded with views like this.

Looking back up the road from that same spot.

The lake is so clear I could see the bottom, about 20 feet down.

This ugly guy keeps getting in my shots.

A very small portion of the bikes at the start point.

Don’t crash. They’ll put your bike parts on this tree.

Yep. 318 curves in 11 miles. It’s a workout. I had to remember to breathe.

Start point.

They have “professional” photographers who take your picture. I’ll look through their website later to see if any are worth getting. If so, I’ll post one up.